Friday, September 17, 2010
Night of the Molester
Look at the way Lester looks at these guys that walk by him. I guess Lester the Molester is in the mood for Mexican tonight.
Retard Alert!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Rooster is Alive, But Hardly Doing Well
While leaving work yesterday, I was happy to see The Rooster again walking down 12th street. He was still only walking about 0.001 miles an hour, and had replaced his walker with a cane. After snapping the first photo, I decide to turn around and pull over to go talk to him.
It was raining, and Rooster was heading for shelter. He seemed well spirited, but wasn't keen on getting wet from the rain. I asked if he was doing okay. He said that he had broken his hip and had somewhere around 27 stitches. Then Rooster asked me if I could give him a ride. I'll admit I was a little reserved at this question, being that I have heard The Rooster had some foul body odor. But at the same time, it was raining outside and he wasn't moving to fast with that broken hip. I told him to wait there for a moment while I ran to grab my car.
When I returned, The Rooster had materialized a cigarette butt from thin air (or the ground). I told him to toss it away, and that I had a fresh one for him that he could have. With a healing hip Rooster struggled a little to get into my truck, but I helped him along. After the door had shut I started to prepare myself for whatever aroma that might be resonating from him. But honestly, the only thing I could smell was the cigarette that he had just puffed on before hoping in.
Take a look at the picture above. One thing I noticed is that Rooster was a lot more cleaned up. Plus, his clothes seemed to have been freshly washed. He asked if he could have that cigarette I promised him. We chatted a little about where I work, and he mention that he comes in often. I don't think that he recognized me as the guy whose been posting picture and videos of him all over the internet. He also didn't notice that I was taking a picture of him while driving.
I only drove Rooster up the street a few blocks. He said he was good to go, and that the place of business that we were at had his truck and trailer. He thanked me, and I told him it was not problem at all. I told him to be careful and take care. He said that the old Rooster would be back to kickin' ass in short time. I believe him.
After I dropped Rooster off, I realize that there was something strangely different about him this time than the previous times I had encountered him. Looking back at the pictures, especially looking into his eyes, I notice that the tenacity and ferocity that normally resides in The Rooster is missing. The Rooster is wounded, perhaps even stung.
I suspect I know where The Rooster has been residing for the last few weeks. Not too far down the street from where I first saw him is the jail. Well, at least he was able to shower up and hopefully was able to get a bit to eat.
I am sure that The Rooster will return, and in full health. From the guy who inspired the novel First Blood and after fending of Satan at the cross roads, I expect nothing less.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
A Girl Named Ralph
I saw them walking by, the girl was covering her mouth, and when she started going for the kill one of her guy friends set her down next to the flower garden and helped give her cover so that people wouldn't see her.
Ute's Fan
Friday, September 10, 2010
Mr. Poopy Pants Returns
Scooby Dooby Doo Where Are You: Reader Submission
Skeletor
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Lester the Molester Forever
Take look at the video below. One thing I've noticed is how every time he looks at one of the girls in the office he gets this smile on his face like a type of sodomy just entered his mind. I left the camera rolling a little after he left so that you get a chance to hear what the ladies in the office thing of this guy.
A did a little searching online. Aparently, Lester has attacked before. The victims have a little PA anouncement for everyone to listen to.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Meet Mr. Poopy Pants
Usually, he's a little more cracked out than he demonstrates here. However, this video was taken at 9:00 AM. So, he hadn't had a chance to smash an 8 ball yet.
Epic Fail: Reader Submission
An avid read sent me this picture while they were shopping at Wal-Mart. You would think that a sign like this wouldn't be necessary, being that most people purchase Bud Light because it is an alcoholic beverage. But apparently, not enough people have figured that out in Utah to a point that seems to be a need for a sign that basically states the obvious.
Most people in Utah are extremely ignorant. Perhaps, if they tried shopping on all seven days of the week, instead of closing on Sundays, they would have a chance to educate themselves on the culture that lives around them.
Lester the Molester Returns
I tried getting closer to this guy to take a few more pictures, but he had that look like he was wondering how often I put lotion on my skill so that later, when he is mauling my face with his teeth, he could make body suit out of me.
Don't remember Lester? Well, it's been a while but you can click here to see the original post.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Rooster Says He's Tired of the Mormons and that He's Leaving Utah!
Though I think that it's sad that someone stole White Lightning from The Rooster, I hope that she's in a home that will provide her with shelter, food, and love.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Boyfriend/Son Again
I realize that videos of this guy might not be that entertaining. He doesn't sing or dance and the stench that comes off of him doesn't transfer well across a visual medium such as video. But notice how this guy almost never shuts up. He goes to tell you one thing, and he goes on, and on, and on. And does he have another shirt besides that grey one? I don't know if I've even seen him where anything else.
My favorite part is near the :59 mark.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Epic Fail: Mayor of Comma Town Returns - Reader Submission
Got help his new job if they give him a raise. It's productiveness like this that led to the downfall of the economy.
Fire Starter
In fact, I change my mind. Don't bother growing a set. Ever. People like this shouldn't breed. But I know that they do. Don't believe me? Click here and you'll see some mistakes that should have been abortions.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
WTF?
Friday, August 20, 2010
The Legend of Tom Sikes
In his younger days he used to look like a young Jimmy Stewart. Always, wearing a suit and tie and saying, “Yes, Ma'am,” to the ladies. And he was in love with the most beautiful girl on the east coast. She wore yellow dresses in the summer time and she always smelled of fresh peach cobbler pie. They planned to get married when the summer was over. Her name was Jenny. Tom had been attending college but his funds dried up when he needed to pay the medical expenses for his ill mother. Without being a student, Tom was drafted to Vietnam. Jenny said that she would wait for him, and write him every week, and she did. She wrote every week for eleven months. But Tom became a prisoner of war after his helicopter was shot down and he spent six years as a POW . His cell mates were John McCain and the author of Rambo. In fact as it turns out the legend of Private Tom Sikes is what inspired the novel First Blood. You know Bruce Willis’s story in Pulp Fiction, the fighter whose dad had a gold watched shoved up his ass for six years, yep Sikes inspired that too. The Deer Hunter? Him too. Tom escaped the POW camp by playing a game of Russian Roulette with the Viet Cong. The war was long over, and Tom Sikes was thought to be dead. He swam a third of the way back and boat hopped the rest until he hit the east coast again.
He came back from the war and the world had changed. He was thought dead and people had moved on. The war had changed Sikes, and he was hardly recognizable anymore. He couldn’t even recognize himself but he thought of one person that might. Jenny. But she wasn’t there anymore. She had moved on out west. And Tom sought to find her. He walked across the great nation that he had fought for. With no shoes it was a long and painful journey. But his love for her carried him on. And then he found her. One day while feeding bread from his sandwich to pigeons in the park, he looked up and saw her walking by. But she wasn’t alone. Jenny had thought Tom Sikes to be dead. He was dead in her heart, and a long time ago she had moved on. Tom would have let it go. He would have walked away and let her be. But her new lover was the unknown man that had killed Bambi’s mom and Tom couldn’t honestly let that shit slide. Jenny deserved the best, not the worst. On February 13, 1979 Tom Sikes entered their home and while the unknown man was sleeping, Tom shot him dead with every bullet that he had in his pocket. Jenny woke; she saw a figure standing there with the smoking gun his hand. But it wasn’t Tom. It wasn’t the man that she loved so long ago. You see, Tom never came back from the war. Tom Sikes died in Vietnam and the man standing above her was not him. Her name was Jenny. But he was the Rooster.
That was the last she ever saw of him. That was last that anyone ever saw of him. The Rooster continued on from one town to the next city, stumbling upon a new adventure every week. The Rooster has been the faceless name of every moment around us. He is the character only mentioned in stories, but never seen. Jeff Lebowski co-authored the original draft of the Port Huron Statement. Rooster was the other. He even freed Willy. But long ago, in a late December, the Rooster battled Satan at the cross roads. An epic struggle it was. And the Rooster gave it his all, but he did not win, and the devil took his mind. As easily as God scattered the tongues of the people at the Tower of Babel, the Devil scrambled Rooster’s mind leaving him with lost hope, memories, and dreams.
Years following, the Rooster eventually found shelter in a little city called Ogden. And if you pay attention enough you’ll see him on the streets, often riding his bike or pushing his shopping cart. I’ve seen the Rooster many times. And I’ve seen the shadow that cast behind him. I now know what that is. For a long time I had thought the Rooster was alone, but he isn’t alone at all.
If you do spot the Rooster, look closely, and you’ll see as well that he is not alone. Because behind him is the shadow of Tom Sikes.
Boyfriend/ Son Returns
But luckily, he did turn up in shop. However, this time he came alone. I guess he left the bra-less Lady Crack Rock at home.
I was able to get more video of him. Watch as he smells his sweaty money and later nearly picks or blows his nose into his hand. That hair and those teeth, you'll just have to see for yourself.
WTF had he been eating on his way over here? Doesn't look to sanitary.
Ogden Raptors Biggest Fan
And in all fairness to her the Raptors won the game 14-3.