Welcome to Hick Town

Geographically, Ogden, UT is an very diverse place. Looking at the picture below you can see the that there are high mountains, a large valley, there are city buildings, and if you look way back you seen a large suburban area.

However, when you're driving down the street and you see a goat tired to tree in someones front yard, it's hard not to think of this place as Hick Town.

To be fair, the city scape picture above is Ogden City, but the I saw the goat just a few miles away in a place called Plain City. That's right Plain City. Which goes to show you just how exciting that place is.

The Birds

Just was walking out of a movie theater here in Ogden City and I find the darndest things.

People of Ogden are Wonderful Drivers

Asking the Important Questions

Noobs of Ogden: Reader Submission

Check out these retards right here. I guess in Utah there isn't much to do on a Friday night. So, these dork sit around making asses of themselves. The thought of going out and finding chicks never occurs to idiots like these. But sitting upside down and drinking bottles of water and Root Beer sounds like a f***ing plan!

At least they're outside I guess. Probably for the first time in the last month. Their mom, and I'm sure they still live at their mom's house, must have finally kicked them off the X-box and this is their first time even standing next to a trampoline (let alone hanging upside down from one).

The only thing stopping me from trying to track these retards down and removing them from our population is that every 1/10 times I watch the videos below - I gut laugh out loud.





They must be brothers.

Dinosaur sighting

This picture doesn't do her justice. She was least 40 pounds heavier looking in real life. This was taker at the Village Inn in Roy. At that size she might want to consider saving the money and putting it towards a gym membership.

Rooster is a little pissed today

Rooster came in today and he tried claiming that some metal laying around outside the shop was his. According to him, he stopped by on Saturday at 9:30 but we weren't open. After checking the security camera it turns out that Rooster did stop by on Saturday, but it was 8:05 not 9:30 like he said. We don't open shop until 8:30, which is why we were closed at the time that he showed up.

I tried talking with Rooster to see what else I could get him to say, but it didn't go to well. Check out the video, and pay particular attention to the 1:50 on the video. Rooster gets a little irritated.



I asked Rooster how far his shopping cart was from the store, or how far would he have to haul the next load of metal that he has. He replied, saying that his shopping cart was over on 24Th street. Well, our shop is on 12Th. Last I checked, that's 12 blocks and Rooster says that he is going to haul a shopping cart full of metal 12 blocks in about an hour.

Rooster got mad at me and asks me if I need him to write it down. No, Rooster. I'm good. But maybe you need a calculator next time.

Jake the Snake

Check out Boy Genius here walking around with a snake hanging around his neck. I guess he thinks that he can pick up more ladies if he wears his snake on his shoulder. He has a pretty big smile on his face for a guy who is about to doubled wrapped. He said that one time it did wrap around him enough to make him pass out. He said it happened while he was in the middle of a dick measuring contest. He claims he was flexing his neck and the snake took it the wrong, wrapped around his neck, and he woke up later on the floor. Now, I don't know how many dick measuring contest that I plan to find myself in, but I know now not to do so while wearing a snake as a necklace.



Now take a look again at that picture above. Doesn't this van look like something that a guy like that would drive? Well, it should because it is.

The Thunder God Returns!

Raiden the thunder god just came back from an epic battle with Lui Kang. These photos may look like re-hashed images from a set that I took a few weeks ago. But trust me, this kid is running around with his outfit on all the time.








For a second there I was worried about the status of middle earth.

Is This Really The Rooster?

So, the video that I tried to get of The Rooster wasn't all that well done. So, for today all I have is pictures. But as I uploading these picture of Rooster, I noticed that they don't have the same flavor as the other pictures have. Like there is something missing. When looking at the pictures I realized, how normal Rooster almost looks today. No, decorative cowboy hat or dog chewed slippers. He looks normal (besides a giant beard). He wearing tennis shoes, basketball jersey, baseball hat, and basketball shorts that are level at a normal length.

Why does he call himself The Rooster? Unlike the other characters on this site, it is not a name that I gave him. He gave it to himself. Play the video and you'll see.

The Spruce Goose Returns

Remember the Spruce Goose? Course you do. Apparently she made the local news while her house was nearly burning down next to the landfill.

The local news paper covered the story about a grass fire in the landfill. While watching the video I couldn't help but notice one of our good friends at People of Ogden.

Check out the video after the bump, and look closely around the :46 seconds mark and you'll see The Spruce Goose walking away from her burning house.

Wait? Spruce Goose lives next to the landfill? Yeah. That's right.

Click on the link here to view the video.

Lady Crack Rock: The Sexy Beast

Lady Crack Rock finally returned and today she brought a very sexy treat - NO BRA! Nothing like a sexy saggy set of hooters without a bra to really cool your joystick down. I know chronic rapist who would take a pass on this grenade. I'm just not sure that the juice is worth the squeeze.






I was able to get a video of Boyfriend/son. The question I have, is does this guy really have to f*** Lady Crack Rock? Actually, after watching the video I wonder, does Lady Crack Rock really have to f*** this guy?



Now, this video is only a fragment of the conversation that was taking place. This guy isn't Rooster, where can practically build a WB studio in front of his face and Rooster would still have zero idea that I was filming him. Boyfriend/Son looks the paranoid type that would catch on really easy to a camera being in his face. So, I shot this video from about 50 feet away with about six other people in the room. I've cut the video in a manner that excludes the other people and even mutes a few sound bites that I captured.

Epic Fail: Comma-town - Reader Submission

Check out this noob right here. Bruce Wayne here has a hard time staying awake during his day job. I guess it is a little to rough for him around the office, and he needed to take a break after being assed out from working so hard. Hope he doesn't hurt himself and remembers to follow the OSHA safety regulations.

Actually, I think I recognize this guy! In fact I do, he's the mayor of Comma-town.


Hopefully, genius here will wake up before his employers have a chance to fire him. And can ask a question, why is there a large bottle of hand lotion on your desk?

Someone has to much free time with their hands.

Wrath of the Rooster: Reader Submission

I got this email from some avid readers containing some interesting footage of the Rooster and an even better story to go with it. Apparently, these readers were heading down Pioneer Rd in Plain City, and ahead of them in the distance was The Rooster riding along on his bike. So, the readers tried taking various photos of the Rooster while passing him by. I guess the first pass didn't work out so well, so they flipped a bitch and came back to shoot another picture. Below is the picture they got.

It's about as epic a photo of Rooster as you can get. Notice the gym shorts, the cowboy boots, and the Utah Jazz jersey, along with his cowboy hat. This is why we love the Rooster. But as you can see from the picture there was a pretty big flash coming from the camera when the picture was taken. I suspect that the Rooster had to have seen the flash going off.

The story doesn't end there. The readers weren't just satisfied with one quick pass and a picture, so according to them, the made around three more passes. One of which was a video. The Rooster goes by pretty quick so the video isn't that long. But it's nice to know that The Rooster has a fan base.

This was another picture that the readers tried taking, but as you can see it is a little too far away.

The story continues the readers drove to the east end of Pioneer Road, right before the freeway, and stopped where the Chevron and Maverick gas stations are located. They stopped there to see if The Rooster was going to make a pit stop, and he did. The Rooster hoped off his bike and went inside the Chevron. The readers proceed to take a picture of his bike as it sat in the parking lot.

From this angle, you can see that The Rooster is also hauling a baby stroller filled with junk. How awesome is that? But I guess Rooster walked out of the gas station while they were taking the picture. The readers said that they turned around and started walking away down the street and that Rooster started following them. I assume Rooster caught on that some shit was going down, and he wasn't going to take it anymore. I guess I would be pissed too, if some little f**kers saw me and started harassing my ass as well.

But, Rooster is at Robert Patterson status now, so a little celebrity stalking is to be expected. Though I am sure that more women dream of Robert Patterson at night than they do Rooster. But I get calls and text from people all the time now saying that they've Rooster riding around town.

I guess Rooster gave up on following the readers after about half a block. I've heard Rooster talk about having a pistol and bullet shells in his pocket. These kids are luckily that The Rooster didn't finish them off.

We appreciate the readers efforts in capture The Rooster in pictures and video. But please be cautious when approaching The Rooster. He might be having a flash back of his days surrounded by the Vietcong.

Mortal Kombat!

Raiden here forgot to put his costume away before he left the house. I guess he felt safer with it on, just in case he passes Johnny Cage and Sonya Blade on the way to the comic store.

Another Rooster Sighting

I'm trying to decide whether Rooster stole a baby or not. It could be that he is hauling around White Lighting in there. It doesn't look like it is his bike and carage. I guess he didn't have time to stop in today, he only rode by, but maybe next time.

WTF? : Reader Submission

A little bit of underwear fail at the firework show. Thanks, dedicated reader.

Mr. Tie Dye: Reader Submission

Check this out, not only is this guy turning heads for being 600 pounds over weight, but he's also sporting a giant tie dye shirt. Luckily, for us a dedicated reader was standing by to take a view pictures.

Fire Water Burn

I'm on my way out to the store the other day, and traffic was little more slow than normal. Turns out there is a burning VW Van to the side of the road. I've live in Florida for five years and never saw free shit like this. Next to seeing Ogden burn to the ground, this is almost the next best thing.

Not sure how it all started, at first it was just the back part of the van was on fire. But after about 10 minutes, when the fire fighters failed to show up, the rest of the van was up in flames. I waited eagerly for some kind of explosion to happen, but none prevailed. I didn't even get a chance to see the burnt crisp bodies of the hippies that started all this excitement. But I guess they fled the scene after there crack bong maulfunctioned and started the van of fire.

Blue Waffle - Breakfast in Utah.

A little public service message for everyone: Leave this alone. Seriously, she really is a crack head. And keep a good distance too. She has enough venereal deceases to wipe out all the dinosaurs on the island of Jurassic Park. It's bad enough that Stephen King is suing her vagina for stealing the story line from The Stand. More people survived the film Carriers than have walk away safely from this one.

I am being serious here. Last year, the surgeon general issued a warning that she was serving the worst tasting Blue Waffle in the western world.

So, I searched this girl on the YouTube and apparently we aren't the first person to post material about this girl. Like I said she gets around. Check out these video reactions.

And more.

Click here to see pictures of a Blue Waffle. However, you may want to put your sandwhich down first.

Richard Simmons

Richard Simmons biggest fan just walked out the door, and he lives right here in Utah. I have to be honest, compaired to this, guy I could have watched someone walk by in a Batman costumre and not have taken a picture. But when a gem like this one comes along, I have no choice in the matter. Check out the pics and then check out the video, and you tell me if I am wrong here.

Crack Head Bob Sighting: Reader Submission

This picture was taken by a reader while driving down Wall Avenue in Ogden, UT. It is a little hard to see, but I can promise you that this Crack Head Bob. Well, I was driving the car and a friend took the picture with a phone. I promise it's Crack Head Bob, and not just Crack Head Bob, but Crack Head Bob panhandling on the side of Wall Ave.